How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
