If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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