She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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