remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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