did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
