Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i may or may not be watching the land before time
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
