in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize