It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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