I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize