thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
