is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
