im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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