I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
