So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
