I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
this boner is exhausting
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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