so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
