hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
