I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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