Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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