the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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