FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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