I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
