And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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