So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
