Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
