I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
barbara walters just said penis...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it's like heaven, but drunker
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
