That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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