So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
