i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
