how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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