dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
there is glitter all over my balls
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
