We're like a lot better than the average bears
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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