Screwed.edu
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
