Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
