well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
