Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
