i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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