I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
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