I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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