i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Bring me that man meat
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
