Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
