Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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