I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
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Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
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