Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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