i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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