I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize