i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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