all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
