I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
And then he peed in my hair
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