Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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