he shaved USA in his pubs
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
