i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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