Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
