im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
