belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
