its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
