Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
