I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
