PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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