I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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