Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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