With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
