If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
