He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I have post one night stand depression
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
