The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
