Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
